Empty Nest Syndrome Must Be an Urban Legend

They claim that mothers feel this void in their lives when the kids graduate and move away from home; as though there is something missing or like they forgot something on the stove halfway on that road trip from Cincinnati to Montreal.  Many a woman has taken on book clubs, bridge clubs, gardening clubs, sewing clubs, golf clubs, and heavy afternoon drinking to help fill that void that is left when their children move away and they have fewer people to care for than their spouses and/or themselves.  But I think that is just Hollywood talking.


I could handle only doing two loads of laundry every four days as opposed to four loads every day.  And I’d like to not have to wake up to the alarm clock at 5:50 in the morning…and walk all the way to the opposite side of the house in the dark and tripping over shit in order to turn it off while the alarm setter slumbers through the blaring submarine alert sounds going off 3.9 inches from his head.  I’d like to only fill my gas tank once every two weeks or less and not have to grunt and groan while I force my legs to straighten upon getting out of the car after three and half hours of driving various carpools and errands.  I want be able to afford to have this Sam Elliot-esque mustache threaded off my lip more frequently than once every six to eight months.

But these are my pipe dreams.  And, for me, Empty Nest Syndrome is one of those things like Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.


About ~SPRH

Laughter is my beauty cream and I bask in it daily. Looking for the good in others is not just a hobby, but a way of life. Embracing my crazy is how I medicate and it's addictive. Try some? Also, I apparently talk in "bumper sticker" sometimes.
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